Wedding photographers are by your side nearly every moment of your wedding day. They’re snapping away at your most intimate moments: your first glance at the person you plan to be with forever, your smile as you’re finally wed, and your initial step onto that dance floor. But how much do you really know about how they work—and why they’re so expensive?

1. THEY WISH YOU’D ASK FOR THEIR HELP.

Especially when it comes to the timeline for the big day. “I’d add in more time for photos,” says Gina Cristine, owner and photographer with Gina Cristine photography in the Chicago area. Many times, the bride and groom assume the photographers just need 15 minutes for family photos, she says. But those family photos could easily take 30 minutes, because a family member is always missing. “We need to make sure we have enough time, and that we’re not rushed and hectic,” Cristine explains.

2. THEY ALSO WISH YOU ACTUALLY ASKED ABOUT EXPERIENCE …

This sets apart the amateurs from the professionals, Eva Ho, owner and photographer for Eva Ho Photography in Chicago, says. Her perfect question: “How do you deal with XX situation?” Ho explains that since every wedding is unique, you need to find a photographer that’s perfect for you—and asking about experience will help you make that decision. It will also help you understand the reason you’re hiring a professional wedding photographer, rather than someone who just dabbles in photography, for your big day.

3. … AND ABOUT THEIR STYLE.

Jason Brown, owner and photographer of J. Brown Photography in Chicago, says couples always ask about his price and his availability. But he loves it when the conversation turns to his overall style and approach, and they get to know him as an artist. “Then we can understand if we’re a good match,” Brown says. “Not a lot of clients go there, and I wish more clients would ask me about my approach.”

4. FEEL FREE TO ASK WHY THEY CHARGE AS MUCH AS THEY DO.

Sure, wedding photographers may charge a few thousand dollars for what seems like eight hours of work. But they also met with you countless times before the wedding. And do you realize how many times you emailed? Then there’s the editing process. Those photographers put many more hours of work into those pictures than you ever imagined. Also, that camera equipment wasn’t free (and it needs to be upgraded every couple of years). Stacy Able, an Indianapolis-based wedding photographer with Stacy Able Photography, says she loves it when couples ask why she charges so much, because it offers her the opportunity to really explain everything that goes into shooting a wedding.

5. THEY’RE WATCHING YOUR CHEMISTRY.

When the couple first sees each other at their wedding and they relax instantly, it’s a sign that they’re going to last, Cristine says. “They really enjoy the day together.”

“I shoot 20 to 30 weddings a year, and I can tell when a couple has really great chemistry,” Brown says. “It’s when they’re in sync with each other and when they’re fun-loving with each other.” Once in a while, though, there’s the bride and groom who aren’t really into each other, and don’t really hang out at the wedding. That’s a red flag—as is the couple who are worrying incessantly about everything being perfect during their wedding instead of simply relaxing and enjoying their big day, Cristine notes.

6. THEY LOVE THE PHOTO BOOTHS JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO.

Sure, the quality of the pictures in there may not be totally amazing, but those photo booths are so much fun. And they even help the photographers do their jobs. “During the reception, we go around and take candid shots, but it’s hard for us to get a group shot because people are dancing,” Cristine says. “We like to know that the photo booths are there.”

7. HOWEVER, THEY DON’T LOVE THOSE TABLE SHOTS.

Going from table to table to interrupt your dinner and make you pose for a photo is the worst part of shooting a wedding, Ho says.

8. WHEN IT’S TIME TO POSE, LOOK AT THEM, NOT AT ANYONE ELSE.

At weddings these days, everyone is taking pictures with their phones, and it’s getting harder and harder to compete for the attention of the bride and groom. If wedding photographers don’t get those key shots, however, they’ve failed at their jobs. So look at them when they’ve got the cameras up, not at the phones.

9. ONCE THE WEDDING IS OVER, THEY AREN’T DONE.

Being a wedding photographer is a full-time job, and photographers work nearly every day of the week, writes photographer Lauren Lim on PhotographyConcentrate.com, a site dedicated to all things photography. When not actually shooting weddings, wedding photographers are editing photos, meeting with clients, creating photos, sending invoices, and marketing their business. And because it is a business, after all, they’re also dealing with the accounting end of things.

“You are now the bookkeeper, the accountant, the marketing department, the graphic designer, the customer service department, the secretary, and pretty much any other title you can think of,” Lim writes. “There’s a dangerous myth that floats around suggesting that [wedding photographers] only have to work one day of the week and they make tons of cash.”

In reality, wedding photographers work a normal five-day week, plus meetings and engagement shoots in the evenings, and weddings on weekends. They are some of the hardest working people you’ll ever meet.

10. PHOTOSHOPPING ISN’T EASY.

Many people will ask photographers to make them skinnier, taller, younger—and to add people into photos, Able says. But, she explains, “People do not realize what that entails.” Yes, she can do that. Just not for every photo.

11. FORGET TRYING TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE IT DOES ON PINTEREST.

Pinterest is getting really annoying to wedding photographers, and they’re sick of trying to re-create what you saw there. Spoiler alert: It never looks like the perfect shot you saw on there. Chances are, that was a once-in-a-lifetime shot or a freak of nature. That photographer got lucky because their groomsman happened to be an Olympic gymnast and could be flipped upside down, or something. Not going to happen at your wedding.

12. IT’S HARD TO PAY THE BILLS.

Since weddings are seasonal—most people get married between May and September— many wedding photographers find themselves out of work from October to April, according to PhotographyConcentrate.com. “No surprise that that makes it difficult to pay the bills,” Lim writes. “You can either try to make enough in the wedding season to get yourself through the rest of the year, or find ways to keep bringing in money when the weddings stop.” That may include shooting photos for holiday cards and taking pictures for birthday parties.

13. THEY USE A BLEND OF PHOTOGRAPHY STYLES.

Wedding photography is a blend of different types of photography—often used all at the same event. “We’re a blend of a product photographer, a documentary photographer, and fashion photographer,” Brown says. Able agrees, saying she might use landscape photography, portrait photography, and even macro photography to capture a wedding.

14. STAYING FOCUSED IS KEY.

Wedding photographers have to stay mentally and creatively sharp for a really long time, Brown says. Able notes that they also deal with a multitude of challenges, including weather that can change in an instant and drastically affect lighting. “You have to be skilled at adjusting quickly on the fly,” she notes. And, she adds, the pressure is heightened because you have limited time to capture countless moments.

15. SOMETIMES, THAT’S SCARY.

“Each wedding may have a completely different dynamic, and you do not know what you are walking into,” Able says. Sometimes, you can step into a very tense situation, and other times, the mood might be jovial revelry. You never know. “There is a certain level of stage fright as you have to be on your best game for 12 hours,” she says. “Every work day for us is someone’s biggest day of their lives.”

16. THEY DON’T LIKE COPYING OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS.

Lori Sapio, photographer with Lori K Sapio Photography in Chicago, hates hearing the dreaded question: “Can you make my pictures look like …” That’s because she has her own style and her own touch, she says. “They usually want images they like re-created exactly,” Sapio explains. “[But] each photographer has their own style and voice and most, like myself, tend to shy away from recent trends and approach each wedding in a unique manner.”

17. WHEN IT’S OVER, STOP BUGGING THEM FOR THE PICTURES.

Ask them once, and then wait for the process to happen. Your photographer should explain the process to you, and most will take about 4 to 6 weeks, Brown says. “Trust the process,” he says. Now that he’s married himself, Brown understands how emotional you are and how excited you are to see those photos. But the photographer needs time to edit them, and if you keep bugging him, it gets annoying.

All images via iStock.